7/15/2017

SATAN'S CHEERLEADERS (Review)

Title: Satan's Cheerleaders
Director: Greydon Clark
Writers: Greydon Clark, Alvin L. Fast
Cast: John Ireland, Yvonne De Carlo, Jack Kruschen, John Carradine, Jacqulin Cole, Kerry Sherman
Year: 1977
Min: 92

Benedict High School's cheerleader squad are a fun loving and hot as fuck foursome. They are led by their equally hot gym teacher, Ms. Johnson (Jaculin Cole). The school's pervy janitor, Billy (Jack Kruschen), is not only a creeper who has his eyes on them, but he is also a member of a deadly Satanic cult! Shit, don't hate when that happens?! He conducts a plan to kidnap and sacrifice them, in the name of Satan. He accomplishes this by cursing their sweaters, thus causing their car to swerve off the road. He then gets them in his van, kidnaps them, taking them to the cult's satanic altar.
But, it turns out one of them, pretty blonde Patti (Kerry Sherman), is actually a powerful witch! While, they all entranced, Patti uses her powers to kill Billy. When, they come out of the trance they go to seek help from the local sheriff (John Ireland). Who it turns out is the leader of said evil cult! But, with Patti on the cheerleaders' side, they might be fucking with the wrong girls!
This is endearing 70s exploitation at its most fun and likeable. Combing two things that were really popular back them, IE Satanic horror and cheerleader sex comedies, it manages to be a wonderfully silly gem. The flick is funny, sexy, and never takes itself too seriously, and stands as a cool and easy to love sign of the times.
A big part of this film's appeal is one's love for cheerleaders. I have always had a thing for them, so this right up my alley. I suppose if your fetishes/ preferences lie else where, then this one might not really be for you. Anyway the point is the female cast is gorgeous! All four girls and their gym teacher are very easy on the eyes. As a bonus, we also get eye candy support from rival girls from another school. The girls are seen in skimpy outfits (duh) and some bits of nudity, too. Asses are shown and shaked, and we get some boobs, too.
One of the most interesting aspects, is when it comes right down to it, the female characters, both good and bad, are smarter than the males in this film! Now, I wouldn't calls this a feminist flick or anything of the sort. It really is quite happy and content in being a simple and sexy little movie. But, it is a nice little, and somewhat subtle, extra touch.
The cast is truly impressive, with the aforementioned John Ireland, as well John Carradine, Sydney Chaplin (son of Charlie Chaplin!), and Yvonne DeCarlo, among more! The late, great DeCarlo is, of course, best known for playing sexy, proto-goth babe Lily Munster on The Munsters. This may well be her second greatest role, well it is at least, in my humble opinion.
That said, the acting is... well, it's nothing to write home about. But, even the worst acting is somehow endearing and adds to the fun to the movie. When you take into account the terrible dialogue and silly shit that happens, it is clear that this ain't The Exorcist. Taking all of this into account, the acting comes off as quite adequate and, dare I say, perfect for this film! It probably wouldn't be perfect for any other film, but who the fuck cares?!
There is some nitpicking to be done. For example, why do the Satanists use a pentacle and not a pentagram for their rituals and robs? But, let's be honest here, the filmmakers didn't care to do any research, and that is fine by me. It is possible that you might bitch about the quality of the acting or find this movie to be stupid or cheap and exploitative. To those people, I say, ''What the fuck do you expect from a movie called Satan's Cheerleaders?! And, why in the blue hell are you watching said movie?!'' Honestly, you should know what you are getting yourself into and just shut the fuck up and enjoy the cheese and babes!
There is truthfully nothing scary about this movie, as the horror aspect is silly and light in tone. There is no real gore or bloodletting to speak of. And, again, this is all fine for it succeeds in the other aspects that it aims for, namely humor and hotties. That being said, it does get bonus points for a climax and ending that I got a total kick out of. It manages to raise the flick to an above average level, that further sealed my enjoyment of it.
Satan's Cheerleaders is a fun bit of 70's exploitation. It brings lots of humor and camp as it combines two of the eras most popular sub-genres: satanic horror and cheerleader sex comedy. Filled with a great veteran cast and hot girls, in various stages of dressing and undressing (the girls NOT the veterans!), this is an enjoyable romp of the silliest manner. It is never scary, always light, many times funny, and a feast for cheerleaders lovers. If come you in knowing what to expect and this sounds like your cup of skin, jump right in! It is currently streaming on Shudder. There is also a DVD put out by VCI (alas no Blu-ray of it). Both versions are the R-cut, as apparently it played as a PG flick, when it first came out (not sure if anything was cut back then, but at least this certainly ain't!) However you see it, it'll make you go ''Ra-Ra Satan!'' or at least cheer for some cheerleader ass!

3 out of 4

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