11/19/2008

Supersquirt 3...In Search of



Title: Supersquirt 3...In Search of
Studio: Elegant Angel
Cast: Annie Cruz, Kat, Angela Stone, Missy Monroe, Tia Tanaka, Karina Kay, and Eva Angelina

Tiana Lyn is leaving the porn world, so she needs to find out who will be the queen of squirt to replace her. So naturally she wades through a bunch of squirt clips to find the one.

The first scene stars the DVD's beautiful cover girls, the always cute Latin babe Kat and the gorgeous and exotic Asian goddess Annie Cruz. Both are huge personal favs of mine, and this scene is the absolute, bar none, best scene in the whole movie. It, in fact, ranks as one of the hottest, nastiest scenes I have ever laid eyes on. It begins with both girls getting it on and squirting on each other. Then a lucky guy joins them. It is amazing how much they both squirt, and they both do it on each others faces and mouths. The cum shot is shared by both girls, and so ends a fucking amazing scene that needs to be worshiped by any self-discerning porn fan. Both girls are truly fucking sights to behold, and I would kill to be the guy in this scene! Be warned though, this scene might, er take a few viewings to see the whole thing, cause it is that damn good!

Next up is Angela Stone and fav of mine, the lovely Eva Angelina, getting it with some dude. It's a good scene with Angela being the squirter here. Stone is very sexy and a great combination with Eva. It makes for a solid scene. I love it when a squirt scene has the squirt actually hitting the camera, and this one has that. The cum shot on Eva's sexy red boots and Angela licking them up is nice touch.

Missy Monroe is fucked next. She squirts a lot in this scene. While, I think she is pretty, I don't like as much as the other babes in the vid. But, she is very sexy and has a great sexual aura about her; as she is very nasty. She also has a great God-given chest and gets a load on 'em. Good stuff.

The next one has one of my absolute favs Tia Tanaka "finally" turning 18, and it being her b-day celebration. OK, actually she was 18 way before this scene was ever shot, but who gives a fuck? Beautiful Angela Stone returns and gives her a birthday cake and a dude to share! I wish I could be Tia's b-day gift! This is a good scene, but I am disappointed that Tia does not get a squirt on her pretty face. But, both girls work well together. Angela is a good squirter, of course, and very beautiful. She is so good that she blows out, most of the candles with her squirt! Talk about talent! Makes me wants some cake! Tia looks so cute and adorable, in particular with the pigtails she wears in the scene. She also has a winning keaster. The money shot has them both sharing it and is an absolutely amazing and totally killer way to end this scene.

The final scene is, I think, the second best in the movie. The very cute Karina Kay is introduced. She is young, pretty, and blonde. She is also really sexy and has a great ass. She crawls over to get some cock. She can squirt, but not as hard as the girls in this film. Still, she is a good performer, and the scene has a natural sexiness about it. It is a nice way to end the movie and keeps the heat level up.

The picture and sound are great, and there are some decent extras through in for good measure. There is a bonus scene from Super Squirt 2 featuring Tiana Lyn and a fav of mine, Flower Tucci and some lucky asshole. There is lots of squirting and hot sex over all. There is also an enjoyable behind the scenes of each scene with interviews and such. There are a couple of cool moments in it. I read that there is an Easter Egg, on the cover, but I ain't found it, yet. Trailers including a Flower squirt film, that I am totally gonna have to check out.

In all, while not perfect, this is a nasty and sexy film with a yummy cast that should more than please squirt fans. In fact, this movie is worth buying for the first scene alone, and you can think everything else as a very nice bonus!

3 1/2 out of 4 Woodies


11/18/2008

Sawmania- Nov. 15, 2008

On Saturday, November 15, 2008 I went to the first ever Sawmania held in the Bowery in NYC. This is the first movie specific convention I ever been too. And, it was a pretty decent one.

Regular fee was 25 bucks. There was a an $85 or so gold ticket that like guaranteed you shit like Tobin "Jigsaw" Bell's autograph, but more on that later... Anywho, there was no way in fucking hell I was gonna pay that kind of price. Fuck, I mean either way you still had to buy autographes, so fuck it!

I only bought one autograph, and that would be the lovely Shawnee Smith. You see I been dying to meet her for years. Her autographs, like most, cost $25.

But, first I decided to take a walk through the con. There were a shitload of props from the Saw films.

But the vast majority were kept behind this glass display:

Some of my favs contained there were:


Then, I decided to go get Shawnee Smith's autograph. Before I got there I saw a dude hand her a guitar for her to sign. She is a big country fan (FYI: I abhor country music, even more than I hate rap music...), and she even played a few licks. Here is the thing though, like I said I hate country, but I thought it was cool that she played this dude's guitar! Later on in the day she gave a mini-impromptu concert of sorts, along with that dude and some other dude. I really, thoroughly thought this was pretty awesome!

Coincidentally, her newly made CDs came out! And, she held the first printings, which they sold at the con, of course! She seemed very happy and proud.

And, if I needed any further proof about how nice she was, I got it when I met her, myself. I told her that I am a huge fan of hers and that both Saw II and The Blob were all time favorite movies of mine. And, that due to The Blob I had a high school crush on her. She said she was very flattered. She signed my copy of Saw II. Anywho, she got in a pic with me. Not only is Shawnee unquestionably still beautiful, but she is also a sweet person.

I did not want to spend on any more autographes, but decided to check out Tobin Bell's line. At this point I saw that that was in Crash Mansion where I had been earlier this year for my friend Danielle's b-day. Anyways, remember how I told you most charged 25? Well, he was charging a whopping 45 bucks?! Why?! Let me ask anyone who is even somewhat famous. Why do you need to charge more than 20 or 25 bucks to sign your fucking name on something? Why?! But, hey people kept getting to his line, so I guess some had no issue paying. But, unless you had the gold ticket you were guaranteed a pic with him. A lady said he wanted to do it, but the guy next to him, would not allow it! Fuck that! That is fucking lame! I mean you paid 45 bucks for chrissakes! Anywho here is a pic of him, and said dude can be seen, at least partially at his side.

Next, the cast that was present had a great Q&A. It was packed! I really enjoyed this part and think it was one of the most fun parts of the whole show. Mike Butters was the guest that gave the ebst answers adn comments. He played the dude in the barb wire in the first and fifth movies. He was the man at Sawmania! Although everyone was entertaining and cool. The guy who edited them all will now direct the next one answered some questions, on his own afterwards. Though people need to figure out the fact that he won't say shit about the next one!

Now, I would have left but I kept waiting for the Scream Queens from the VH-1 reality show of that same name show up to sign for free.

On a brief side note, I like the show. Sure it is rather braindead at times, but it is fun. My two favs on the show, the two Asian goddesses (Kylah and Lina So) are no longer on there. I would love to meet them at some point, but Lyndsey's (my current fav) myspace stated that only she, Michelle, and Jessica would be there.

Anywho, they announced that would get there at 4PM. So, I went out for some lunch and had an awesome cheeseburger with bacon (bacon is THE food of the gods) with fries and Amstel Light (man, I really needed a beer!).

Back I went and chilled for a while, and then at about 4:10 Michelle got there. I have to say I had my doubts about her, but she is a sweetheart! So friendly and nice! And, beautiful! She gave out free pics and signed and posed for lots of pics. A few minutes later Lindsay came. She was so sweet too. And a total cutie! She too signed pics and posed . I told her that I wanted her to win, and she said, "Oh you just say that to all the girls!" I cannot stress how and nice, sweet, and friendly these babes were. They left a great impression on me.

By the way, Shawnee, who is one of the co-hosts on the show as the winner gets a role in Saw VI, was talking to them. I wonder what they talked about, like who won and shit.

But, wait you say what happened to Jessica? For those not watching the show, Jessica is the crazy one. Yeah, she is attractive but she looks and acts insane! Well, as time I passed I was like, "Where the fuck is she?" I asked one of the dudes running the show. He said that they wondered the same thing and that she was "stuck in traffic". He seemed none to pleased. Quite frankly by 5:10 I was dead tired (I should mention that I got up at 6AM after a night of drinking and being drunk at my friend Alan's b-day). And, I was like, "Fuck this! I ain't waiting no longer". And, so I left, but overall I had a pretty good time.


11/16/2008

The 20 Hottest Bond Girls, pt. 2: 10-1

10. Michelle Yeoh as Wai Lin in Tomorrow Never Dies- - Exquisitely beautiful and a major ass kicker, Michelle Yeoh's Wai Lin is not only one of the most stunning of the Bond girls, but the single best partner Bond has ever had working with him against and evil-doer in a movie. Her presence is one of many reasons why I think Tomorrow Never Dies is the best of the Brosnan Bond movies.

9. Olga Kurylenko as Camille in Quantum of Solace- - I ain't seen this movie as of this writing, but Kurylenko is an amazing beauty, for further proof check out the unrated cut of the highly enjoyable and ultra-violent Hitman, in which she is full nude!

8. in You Only Live Twice- I LOVE Japanese girls and Wakabayashi is a good representation of their beauty. As this picture shows she has a beautiful smile. She was really good in her role, and as a horror and Godzilla fan feel it necessary to remind you that this beauty also starred in Ghidorah: The Three Headed Monster, as well as Dagora: The Space Monster, but I never saw that one. I am gonna have to one of these days.

7. in The Spy Who Loved Me- Her code name is Agent XXX, for chrissakes, she has a great chest (as seen in this pic), a beautiful face, and lovely eyes, how can she not be on this list? Her acting ain't the best, but I don't think it ever hinders or hurts this great movie. Her character is one of the few of the Bond girls that stand on an equal level with him.

6. Talisa Soto as Lupe Lamora in License to Kill- - OK, even as a kid, I never, ever got how Bond picked Cary Lowell over Soto's character in this movie. I mean Lowell is very pretty, but Soto totally smokes her. She is sexy, has eyes that can drive a man crazy with lust, a great skin tone, and a beautiful face. I think Soto is very underrated and should have gotten more work. By the way, she looks AMAZING as Princess Kitana in the enjoyable Mortal Kombat movie.

5. Caroline Munroe as Naomi in The Spy Who Loved Me- - Come on, as a horror fan it would be a sin not to mention Munroe. But, honestly she is one of the sexiest and most beautiful women to ever grace not only Bond, but horror and fantasy films, as well. She is still good looking and having met her at Chiller some years back, I can say she is also very nice in person. Her character, though short lived in the film, is a memorable and sexy villainess.

4. Sophie Marceau as Elektra King in The World Is not Enough- - Not only is Sophie one of the most truly stunning of the Bond girls, with her gorgeous green eyes, sexy accent, hot body, and beautiful face, but her character is one of the best in the entire series. She has really chemistry with Brosnan, so it is too bad that the film is hurt by Denise Richards piss poor acting and total lack of charisma. But, anytime the character of Elektra is on the screen, the movie is right on fucking track.

3. Rosamund Pike as - One of the most truly drop dead gorgeous and awe-inspiring beauties to ever be caught on film, it is too bad that Pike is in one of the most ridiculous Bond films, ever. In fact, once she dies, I really stopped caring about this film that features such lame ass shit as an ice castle and a fucking invisible car! But, hey she is so HOT she could melt the polar ice caps or said ice castle!

2. in For Your Eyes Only- I had a HUGE crush on Ms. Johnson after this movie. Bibi's character maybe be too teen bimboish and too young for Bond, but I would have happily taken her off his shoulders! I did have the pleasure of meeting her at Chiller some years ago, and I can tell you she still looks amazing and is very sweet in person. She is a great bonus in my fav Bond movie.

1. Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp in GoldenEye- - For me there is no competition, Janssen is THE most beautiful woman in the Bondverse. I have felt this way since this film came out, and I still feel this way. So unless, Grace Park or such becomes a Bond girl, it will be hard to top Ms. Onatopp. She kills guys by squeezing them between her thighs. This has to be a GREAT way to go!


11/14/2008

The 20 Hottest Bond Girls, pt. 1: 20-11

It goes without saying that one of the many things that appeals to Bond fans are the world famous Bond girls. Along with Daisy Dukes and Brooke Shields, they were my earliest crushes. Here now, is my list of the 20 most beautiful. It's a two parter. Unlike most sites out there, I have ZERO interest in kissing anyone's ass or putting someone here just cause everyone else does. So, this list won't look like other lists out there, sorry. Oh, and I would totally kiss the ass of any of the girls on this list...

NOTE: I NEVER met anyone on this list. The autographes shown are NOT mine.

20. Daniela Bianchi as Tatiana Romamova in From Russia with Love- - This is probably were my childhood love for Russian chicks started. Even if, in fact, she is actually fellow Italian, but I di not know that back, then. Anyways, I always found her to be very sexy and enticing in her role in one of the finest Bond films.


19. Luciana Paluzzi as Fiona Volpe in Thunderball- - She's beautiful, Italian, and bad! Need I really explain this? She really is one of the sexiest women in Bond history, and she has a amazing chest to boot! Evil looks delicious, when it comes to her!

18. Jane Seymour as Solitaire in Live and Let Die- - I have always had a soft part for this film, I mean it has a great villain, voodoo, and the beautiful Ms. Seymour. I had a HUGE crush on her as a kid, and she looks simply stunning here. She still looks great, which is an added plus. Solitaire can read my fortune any day she likes!


17. Caroline Bouquet as Melina Havelock in For Your Eyes Only- - I think she has one the most beautiful faces in the entire Bond franchise. Plus, she has stunning eyes. She also has great legs used to great effect in the best of the Bond movie posters. Chicks who seek revenge on evil doers should always look this good. Bonus! This is my fav Bond film!

16. Izabella Scorupo as Natalya Simonova in Goldeneye- - Smart, spunky, and beautiful, I really liked her character in Goldeneye. What is even more amazing is the fact that she is even more beautiful, now. I wanna save the world with her... among other things!

15. Ursula Andress as Honey Ryder in Dr. No- - Come on guys, she started in the first Bond film and looks KILLER coming out of the sea, how can she not be on this list?! I would love to help her look for sea shells!

14. Tanya Roberts as Stacy Sutton in A View to a Kill- - OK, so her role is not the best, and this movie ranks as on of the worst Bond films... But, Roberts is an amazing beauty. She has a flawless face and stunning light, blue eyes. And, she still looks great!

13. Maryam d'Abo as Kara Milovy in The Living Daylights- - She is a beautiful cello player that is not very good with a sniper rifle! One of my long fav Bond babes, I am a big fan of Ms. d'Abo. She is another one who still looks amazing.

12. Maria Grazia Cucinotta as Cigar Girl in The World Is Not Enough- - Her role is a small one, but she manages to be involved in a kick ass chase scene with Bond. Too bad, she kills herself. Couldn't she switch roles with Denise Richards (who really hurts the film)? Still this GORGEOUS Italian goddess is a sight to behold. I am sure she would have looked sexy smoking one of those cigars!

11. Eva Green as Vesper Lynd in Casino Royale- - One of the many things that made Casino Royale such an amazing film was the absolute, stunning beauty of Eva Green. She has a beautiful face and truly gorgeous eyes. Plus, she was great in her role and her relationship with Bond is the most touching the series since Diane Rigg (who only barely did not make this list) in On Her Majesty's Secret Service. I never seen it, but she was nude in a film. Go look for her pics on the net. It is well worth it!


11/10/2008

The Top 5 James Bond Films of All Time



With Quantum of Solace opening up this Friday, this felt like the right time for me to make this list. I been a James Bond fan ever since I was kid. I always wanted to be like him. I have seen every single one of the movies in the theaters since Licence to Kill came out and will do so again with this one. I think the series got too campy and silly at some points, in particular with Die Another Day with it's ice castles, invisible cars, and the horribly overrated Halli Berry. But, thank God the series hit one of it's highest notes with Casino Royale. Anywho, here are my five favorite Bond movies.

5. - Considered by many to be the best in the series, and from a critical standpoint, it probably is. This movie defines the series: the girls, the car, the action, the villains, the gadgets. A perfect film that still holds up all these years later. Goldfinger and Oddjob are amongst the series best bad guys. Pussy Galore is gorgeous and has THE single greatest name in cinema history. Connery is, of course, in top form. An American movie classic.

4. - While, George Lazenby only played Bond once, he manages to play Bond in one of the best entries in the series. What can be said about a movie where Telly Savalas plays Ernest Stavro Blofeld, the evil head of SPECTRE, and arch-enemy to James Bond? Savalas is great in the role of course, and the ending is one of the best, not just in the series, but movie history. Plus, the beautiful Daine Rigg is great as Tracy; Draco the only Bond girl to ever marry our hero.

3. - My favorite Sean Connery (who is my favorite Bond, by the way) Bond film. And how could it not be? First off, the action is kick ass. Donald fucking Pleasance plays Blofeld! Conenry is in it. Akiko Wakabayashi, one of the most beautiful Bond women ever, is awesome as Aki, the main Bond girl in the film. And, Connery is great as Bond. I mean how could this not be one of my favorite films, ever? Oh, and I LOVE that poster! Wish that could be me!

2. - I was skeptical of Daniel Craig playing bond, but man, this movie prove me wrong. He is THE best Bond since Connery. I love the way he plays Bond with such a cool, cocky, arrogant, and cold style. And, this film is not only one of the best Bond movies ever made, but one of the best action films. Le Chiffre is one of the greatest and coolest villains in Bond history. Eva Green is with a doubt one of the most beautiful Bond girls ever. She looks like a doll. What I really liked was that this served as a great point to restart to franchise. It serves as an excellent origin story. The serious, gritty tone and hard hitting action scenes give the film an edge the series has not seen in ages. Gone is the silliness and campiness that sort of hurt the franchise. This is truly one of the best film of the last few years and one that only gets better with each viewing.

1. - My all time favortie Bond film. This Roger Moore classic is perfect in my opinion. Not as campy as some of the Bond films he is in, this one feels more like one of the earlier films in the series. The opening of him going to his wife's grave site and then finally dispatching Blodfeld is one of the most memorable moments in the entire series. This film also contains some truly amazing action scenes. I love the chase through the snow! I love Carole Bouquet as Melina Havelock, the beauty that joins Bond as she searches for vengeance for the death of her father. She is a stunning, awe-inspiring beauty. But, to me it is Lynn Holly Johnson as the skating beauty Bibi Dahl that is THE hottest babe in the movie. In fact, she and Famke Jansen of Goldeneye are the two most beautiful Bond babes ever, well to me anyways. In all, I been a fan of this fun, ass kicking, and all around awesome film since I was kid. It has a real special place in my heart, and thus tops this list.